This story is about an epic battle between a man and a pair of denim girls pants. Think it’s impossible to wage war versus a pair of womens denim shorts?
Think again! Read on to find out how my battle with stretch denim leggings started, and my close encounter with a female cat.
First of all, let me just say I’m no expert at seduction. Because of my tendency to go off in faraway lands with models and attractive women (for photography shoots), my pals think my skills in picking up girls have gotten better.
They don’t know that it’s all just my luck, and my proximity to women in sexy denim skirts, long denim skirts and denim chaps that I seem to have gotten more phone numbers with lipstick stains on them lately.
Of course, I never revealed that these were all given to me by women who one day want to be on the cover of magazines wearing nothing but a pair of girls denim shorts and a white denim jacket. These women knew I wasn’t really a professional photographer yet, but they tend to think I have a future in the art.
How can you say no to a girl who’s handing her card to you while she’s hiking up her white denim skirt and playing with the buttons of her cropped denim jacket?
Denim fantasies might become a nightmare.
I’ve never been able to have more than one girl in my dating rotation, nor did I ever really want to, until the day I met the girl in denim leggings. For our purposes, let’s call her “Miss Denim Leggings.”
It all happened during a fashion show hosted by one of my boss’ colleagues featuring long denim skirts, cropped denim jacket designs and womens denim shorts.
We were short on staff at the moment, and every rookie photographer (that means me) had to lend a hand in the production and backstage prep. One model had trouble with the zip on her knee length denim skirt and she asked for my help. That was painless, I thought, as the skirt came off ok, but then she had to get inside a pair of leggings and the real problems surfaced.
Her thongs snagged on the zip and she had to get on the runway in less than 15 minutes. Here’s what I did. I went behind her, pressed down on her thong so that it can be released from the zip.
She was shocked (or is the word excited?) at my hand pressing down on her privates but we were pressed for time so she had nothing else to do but yank the zip up and put the leggings on. She looked at me cattily and said “that should never happen again” in her heavy Russian accent.
I was just relieved – and I don’t think I’ll be getting her number.