Uncle nick history tour.
Life and times of a rapscallion. Uncle nick - (Captain nick). My Struggle.
Taken and assembled from extracts of captain nicks only interview with USAF AirStrike magazine "Kaaboom".
Uncle nick then gained a small part in the French Avant-garde film in the fall of 1979. “Je taime le petite donkey” in which he appeared as the third gasmask salesman.
However this fleeting bump into fame, lucked him into a job in the photography industry, where from a lowly gofer he rose through the ranks rapidly and worked on the world famous “Tyrelli calendar” as the principal photographer. Taking images of all the best and hottest models of the 1980’s in the most exclusive and exotic locations.
This led him to gain some more notoriety when he won $92,000 in the now banned infamous Spanish gameshow “Bang goes my WIFE”.
In which a contestant is allocated a nominated wife (nominated often by a hen-pecked husband), to hunt down, shoot, and cook in the shortest possible time, his current all time record stands at 17hrs 47 mins. Using an:
Uncle nick's cooking skills made him an instant hit with the pygmy cannibals of Borneo, who had seen the show; and nick was invited to guest in a cook-off. Where the winner would become crowned the spider god of Amon-Rhar, and return with 5 goats and a feather head-dress of his choice. While touring the area the pygmy king had told uncle nick of a bullion plane that had crash landed in a patch of dense forest many years earlier, never to be seen again.
Jungle treasure or fiery death.
About six months later Captain nick retuned with 5 comrades of dubious military backgrounds (inc. Corporal Mitchell who is now his butler); for a “privateer expedition” to recover the bullion.
Things did not go well..... An area known as Diamond Hill, was the supposed resting place of the plane, and after weeks of hacking and slashing at the packed forest headway had ground to a halt. So captain nick called in a favour from an old colleague in the Malasian air force to clear the forest – by using a subtle & gentle air to ground napalm strike. The resulting thunderous fire-flash caused a series of almighty explosions all over the mountain, with pygmy huts being hurled into the sky. In the government enquiry that followed, it became clear that diamond hill was sitting on top of the biggest natural gas reserves outside Russia. A press release was sent to waiting journalists on the clean up operation. “Oh my god, will you just look at that hill burn! Will you just look at it! what are we gonna do now man?....were gonna need the big hose” The Red-E-Dare Service & Marine Company
Uncle nick and the privateers returned home, unable to find the lost gold. But they do get posted a box of the finest Cuban cigars from the pygmy chief every Christmas.
This also gave Captain nick the opportunity to have the most strangest entry in the Guinness book of records as the only person to be deported from a country, and have a 10ft stone statue erected in the capitals square, thanking him for the economic miracle they are now blessed with. Diamond hill now accounts for 9% of all gross sales of Armani clothing and Cadillac cars, in the past 2 years.
Napalm Bomb Test
If I Never Sing Another Song
|
Top Rated Boy Stuff.
The fleshlight is the Bestselling Male sex toy in the world. This real feel toy, has the highest quality of its kind – you can even build your own.
Who is the hottest girl ever?