La Rochelle and Vert 2 people I need to tell you about.
Rachel Abbott or rather (la Rochelle Abbott) – yes she went to Europe a few years back and changed her name to la Rochelle; is my ex-girlfriend.
I’m contractually obliged to state she isn’t my stalker but wherever I go most days I see her. Unless oprah is on.
She now has a boyfriend called Vert to make me jealous I think. It partly doesn’t work because Vert has a very strong Swedish accent I cant decipher, and partly because he is gay.
Rachel ……La Rochelle strongly denies this, ok, maybe I made a mistake about him.
Anyway during a medley of musical show tunes and numbers from the sound of music that vert was regaling us with; I got a call to come to the college to take some snaps of the cheerleading team.
Their regular guy had fallen ill, and asked me to stand in.
Vert and la Rochelle were very obliging and gave me a lift in vert’s dauntless and he-man camo golf buggy (he’s given it the name of the rugged router). He tells me its road legal, but the way he drives it I’m not so sure.
Lion-hearted male accessories save the day.
On arrival some of the cheerleaders were standing around in a small circle. One of the babes had fainted.
However because Vert had brought his intrepid camouflage man-bag (D&G), we were able to use some smelling salts on the fallen gal, and we then used Vert’s mobile phone from his attack adventure purse to call for the coach.
La Rochelle had never gotten into the cheerleading team, as she set off a smoke grenade about 12 months back.
They never really forgot about it, as one girl got a mouthful of smoke and missed the finals - plus she was the daughter of the schools head of female phys Ed.
To sum up - her cheer career ended right there and then.
Once the panic was over I said goodbye to them both, as vert wanted to get back to see if his Italian manservant was fine; and La Rochelle had a “firearm project” to re-assemble.
I know it won’t be the last we’ve heard of these friendly but strange characters.